Have you ever felt unsupported? Unloved? Unappreciated? Have you ever found yourself wondering whether anybody cares? I’ve been there and done that.
There are so many situations that come to mind but one that stands out for me is when I did a speech to a group of year 12 students. I put so much effort into the speech, believing that I my topic was really going to resonate with them and they would feel really fired up afterwards. But instead of the thunderous applause I had imagined, there were crickets. The room was silent you could hear a pin drop. I instantly thought ‘what did I say wrong? What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently?’ It was a very low point and I felt so down on myself.
Have you ever experienced something like this? To pour your heart and soul into something (could be in your work, your relationship…whatever) only to be met with indifference. It hurts, doesn’t it?
I know I’m not alone. This is a universal trend. We stake so much of our self worth on what others think of what we do and who we are. If they like us, accept us or approve of us then we are ok. Only when we get that external validation, will we feel ok on the inside.
The major issue with this is our total lack of control over other people. We cannot make everyone like us, nor should we. We have no control over who accepts us and who doesn’t. Can you see how dangerous it is to stake your self worth on something which you cannot control? By letting someone else be responsible for how you feel about yourself, you will never be completely fulfilled or satisfied. You will never get it ‘right’. You will be constantly searching for perfection. Let’s stop that right now!
I declare that we deserve better. It’s time to take back control. We need to start giving ourselves the support, love and appreciation that we are craving from the outside world. We need to be our own best friends first. How can we truly ever love or feel love with someone else when we can’t give it to ourselves? We can’t! Unless our love cup is overflowing, we will never be able to truly give to others. It is only when we are bursting at the seams with self-love that we can pay it forward and give love to those who deserve it.
So what can we do today to start filling up our love cup? By treating yourself like you would your best friend. How would you talk to your best friend? How would you support her? How would you show her you care? Start by watching how you talk to yourself. Are you saying hurtful, mean things? Or are you telling yourself how beautiful and smart you are? Change the conversation in your head to be one of positivity and support.
You deserve all the love in the world. You deserve to feel supported and appreciated. It’s about time you showed yourself some love!