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Do you know what it’s like to second guess yourself and be unsure of what you put out into the world?

The feeling of “holy shit, I can’t do this. What will they think of me? How will they react? What if they don’t like it? What if they yell at me?” I know this feeling all too well. It’s a horrible, sinking, despairing, alone feeling. I’ve been here before and felt less than two inches tall. This is the place where low self-esteem and zero confidence are kings. When you realise that it can be different and you start doing some self development work, things change.

You hear the voice of your inner cheerleader.

A spark is lit and a microphone is given to the voice that says “it doesn’t matter what they think or who accepts you. You need to put your work out into the world. Your words matter. Your message will make a difference. You are important”. And in those moments of buoyed self-belief and confidence, you do it. You put yourself out there. You stick your neck out. You journey outside of your comfort zone. Well done you!

Now we can talk about how great it feels when you get congratulated, get the results you dreamed of and get recognised.

But what about when you experience negative feedback?

I’ve experienced knock backs and rejections. Some I’ve understood and others have left me confused. It’s a tough pill to swallow! Many times I’ve poured my heart and soul into my work. So much so that what is out there feels like an extension of me. So not receiving hi-fives but instead getting rejected takes me right back to that place of despair where I feel two inches tall. As sucky as it is, this is part of the process. Getting knocked back is a part of life.

So what are you going to make it mean?

Do make it mean that you tried. That you had a go. That you went somewhere no body else did. And that takes guts, courage and heart. You have it all in you!

Don’t make it mean you should give up. There are 7 billion people in the world. If you have only hear ‘no’ from 20 people, they are the minority.

Do make it mean that you should shake things up. If the knock back and rejection came with some constructive feedback – USE IT. Try a different way – only if it feels right to you.

Don’t make it mean that you need to change who you are. You are perfect, exactly as you are. We can all evolve and make tiny changes (see above) but not at the expense of losing your voice and dulling your message.

Do make it mean that you are pushing buttons. Alot of the time, when we receive feedback, it is because it has touched a nerve in someone that they weren’t quite ready for. Instead of dealing with their own shit, they offload on you. Congratulations, you button pusher you!

Don’t make it mean that their word is god. Challenge it. If you aren’t happy with the feedback, ask for more information. Get your “why” question answered.


We chose the meaning we place on things. We have that power, no-one else. So I’d love to hear from you – when have you felt the sting of rejection and what did you let that mean? Do you want to change the meaning? If so, what would you change it to.

If you liked this article, send it to the people you love with a big lovey dovey message like “I think you rock”.

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