I am a recovering people pleaser. I used to think that I had to be friends with everyone – which was hard because that meant being a different person at different times. Throughout school I was pulled in all different directions. One group of girls wanted me to be the jester of the group, make everyone laugh. Another group wanted me to blend in – be beige. Another group wanted me hang out with just them.
OH MY GOD it was exhausting. And I lost my sense of identity. Instead of forming who I wanted to be, I became who everyone else wanted me to be.
But this is what I’ve learned…
You can’t be friends with everyone.
Not everyone is going to like you or gel with you. This isn’t a reflection on you. It’s just that your awesomeness and the other persons awesomeness just don’t mix well. Like oil and water – very difficult to mix.
So it’s time to stop trying to be everyone’s friend.
That doesn’t mean to not be nice to them or be respectful. Be you!
But don’t go out of your way to try and create a meaningful relationship with everyone. Friendships, true friendships, require work, dedication and commitment. If you want someone to be there at 4am in the morning because your baby isn’t sleeping and you are going insane, then you need to cultivate that type of friend. But if you are spreading yourself so thin, trying to be friends with everyone, you won’t have time to make a deep friendship.
When it comes to soul sisters, it will always be quality over quantity. Having just a few girls who you can bare your soul to, who will dry your tears and support you when you need it is worth more than being on first name basis with a dozen people. Just because they know your name, doesn’t mean they know YOU or even understand you.
Trust that only a few people will bring out the best in you and focus on making those relationships shine.
Have you downloaded my free ebook yet? It is all about the 8 obstacles we face when trying to go for our goals. Download your copy here.