It might sound like a stupid question. You might be saying “well of course I know what’s holding me back! I don’t have confidence / I’m not good enough / I’m not smart enough …. *insert your own block here*”
Well actually, you need to go deeper. Way deeper. Like, into your childhood deeper.
Shit happened during our formative years that we still hold onto today. And, like anchors from the past, they are weighing us down. Big time.
Between the ages of 0 – 7, we are in our “imprint” years. What we experience in those years have the biggest impact on the formation of our beliefs and values. Which in turn affects the thoughts we think, the actions we take and therefore the results we get.
So when we look at what is holding us back, there is always a deeper root cause. You are not born feeling “not good enough”. There was a defining moment when that belief was created and embedded in your beautiful mind.
Awareness of our defining moments is the key to moving forward.
When we explore our beliefs, memories are triggered and we often recall a time (between the ages of 0-7) where we first experienced the thought of “I’m not good enough” (or whatever it is for you). When we discover the original moment where this belief was created, we can then choose to give that event a different meaning. For example, a 3 year olds interpretation of their mother yelling at them for dropping something would be completely different to how we would interpret that situation now.
Do the following exercise to escape the prison of limiting beliefs created in those defining moments.
- Identify a defining moment for you
- How old you were & where you were
- What happened, who was there, what was said
- What you told yourself in that moment
- What beliefs you carried forward from that one defining moment
- What you would have wanted to happen
- What you tell yourself today is a consequence of the beliefs you’ve held onto and expanded on since then. So what is the price you are paying for these beliefs?
- What consequences are you seeing or feeling in your life right now because of beliefs you created in the past?
- What price will you pay in one year’s time if you keep these beliefs? In five years? In ten years?
- Circle the beliefs you wrote down that you want to keep. If you circled none, then that’s ok.
- Now is the time to create new beliefs that will serve, support, nurture and challenge you. What new beliefs do you need to create today?
When I did that exercise, I was amazed to discover exactly what had been holding me back.
Change can happen instantly.
You just have to choose to change and commit to change. Use the above exercise to work on an area of life that you want to change.
In the comments below, let me know how you went with the exercise and what new beliefs you’ll be incorporating into your life.
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